I generally am annoyed when people hate Valentine's Day, just because it seems like a bandwagon thing...but I hate Thanksgiving, Easter, St. Patrick's Day, and I'm starting to hate Christmas, so I guess I can't begrudge others their right to despise a holiday...

I've always liked the Fourth of July, though. Never had a truly bad FOJ. It requires no gift-buying and encourages time spent at lakes.

Always liked Halloween, too, but I always feel pressed to be more pretty/original/scary/weird than everyone else.

Am I the only one who can't stand the term "taken" when it is used to signify "in a relationship"?

That's bothered me since I was about 14.

I'm falling off the no-soda bandwagon something serious, but at least I'm still walking more days than not, and usually for about 45 minutes. When the summer hits I think I'll be gone for an hour or more, hopefully. My ipod hasn't been able to gather new songs because of the computer crash in December, so my selection is getting tired. Hopefully that will change soon. You can only listen to "Jolene" so many times before hoping that the other woman just takes her man and gets it done with.

So, apologies for my mass of retarded drunk posts. I also sent a barrage of drunk emails. *facepalm* NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THE INSIDE OF YOUR BRAIN, KELLY.

Going to crochet group tonight. Gotta watch the Big Love that I rented from the library. Watched the first episode of Carnivale...it was okay but I don't think I like the main character. He's kind of a dickhead.

palka just wants you to smile. :D

I MISS MY GRANDMOTHER. I KNOW SHE IS DEAD. IT HURTS.

I <3 Dar Williams.

To those who just broke up:

I think you're all beautiful. In triple-scape. You rock. I don't give praise to those I don't deem worthy. Your dreams are beautiful and I believe in them.


Like bird on a wire--like a drunk in a midnight choir--I have tried--in my way--to be free.

Rejected from Cornell Cooperative Extension!

At least they were polite enough to acknowledge me, unlike most other places I've applied to.

I can't say I'm TOO upset. I wasn't really that enthused about working for them. My more recent application efforts are far dearer to me.

Bleh, I feel guilty. After almost two months of being almost completely meat free (except for restaurants), I bought chicken for chicken dip. Aside from the Stouffer's skillet that contains chicken that Alan sometimes buys, this dish is my only regular source of meat that I keep in my house. But, I bought a block of tofu and I still have some seitan, and I have black bean burgers so I guess I'm not doing too badly.

I cried for about an hour last night after staring at an envelope with mu grandmother's writing on it. It said, "Kelly" and the envelope contained money for me that she put away in December, because she knew she was going to die soon. She wrote my name on there with the inkling of death in her brain.

Mostly what gets me, as I wrote before, is envisioning her house, foot by foot, angle by angle, without her in it. Life is a slippery thing. I look at living things and imagine the look they will have as it slips and slides and writhes out of them.

I've only ever had a dream about one of my dead grandparents that I remember, my grandfather, the husband of the woman who just died. He was eating tons of fruit, a spread that would impress the Greek gods. He looked at me and reminded me that he was dead. It was on the one year anniversary of the event, a fact of which I was not aware until after the dream. I wish my grandmother(s) would star in one of my dreams. Just so I can have that fabricated closeness.

Instead, last night, I dreamed that Allison was my roommate, we lived in a hotel room that was a dorm room near campus, only we went to school near a highway in Minnesota or some place like that. I visited a street address she told me to visit, and there was a group of people there covered in blood. There was a pet pig. Perhaps that came because I watched Carrie on Thursday night.

Still no job. I've been hunting and applying. I don't know what's so unappealing about my cover letters or resumes, but at least I'm trying. It's frustrating that the gap between jobs keeps growing and growing.

I've been walking and trying to lose weight, and it's semi-working. I'm reviewing three items this month for the Fem. Review, and I've joined Nature Watch and Ice Watch...I just have to find the gumption to go to Otsiningo Park and record my observations.